Maladjusted Mothering

 maladjusted [ mal-uh-juhs-tid ]

     badly or unsatisfactorily adjusted, especially in relationship to one's social circumstances, environment, etc.    

mothering [ muhth-er-ing ]

     the nurturing of an infant or small child by its mother.

 At the store, I hear two mom’s comment in passing “only six more days until they are back in school.” Bing Crosby sings on the radio on the way home, “And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.” Instagram influencers talk about how it is so hard to do anything around the house while the kids are there 24/7 for 2 entire weeks.

And I wonder, who are the broken ones?

This break was rough. Surgery is rough, which we had over break. Recovery is rough, which we are still in the midst of. That being said, I still am not excited for school to start again. I hate sending my kids. I hate knowing I can’t keep my kids safe. I hate knowing they compared and comparing themselves to other kids. I hate that my kids can’t spend their time doing what they loves. I hate that siblings are separated.m

So I wonder, who is broken?

The parents counting down the hours until they get to send their kids back. Or the parents dreading when that moment comes. 

Maybe it is me, maybe the fear I’ve always had is true. Maybe I’m maladjusted to mothering.